pushing a second baby out into the world
reflections on publishing my first photography book
My debut monograph- We Keep Swimming, Until We All Reach Home was published two months back in November 2025, just as the holiday season felt like it was beginning to wrap its stressful grip around me. I wanted to be present as a parent for my five year old during the most magical time of the year, while simultaneously tending to this whole new piece of me that needed an incredible amount of undivided attention. As November turned into December it hit me, the book felt like having a newborn to tend to. I was grateful it was healthy, and I was exhausted by the process. I had grown and nurtured and culled a very vulnerable series of pictures, written openly about past lives and my spiritual background, organized contributions from women I admire, and then suddenly it took on a whole new form, demanding a whole new amount of energy. We Keep Swimming was now out of my hands and out in the world, and as my dear friend Kate said- it wasn’t my business anymore.
When she said that to me, I felt it in my bones. The minute this book was sent to the printer, it didn’t really feel like mine anymore. It now belonged to everyone else, landing where it needed to, ending up in the hands it was intended for. My part in it all felt largely over. I was humbled by the response and felt such surges in emotion as I received the most thoughtful texts and messages with responses to the work.
The need I felt to make this series of pictures came on so strong and so fast, that I felt like I didn’t come up for air until I was signing off the final edits. While creating a tangible art object that can be carried around felt otherworldly, particularly during this time of peak doomscrolling, peppered with AI slop content, a time when being a working photographer often feels liminal and uncertain, I wrestled with feeling distracted and overwhelmed for most of November and December. I wanted the holidays to still feel like a priority, and I overcompensated by buying my daughter five gifts too many. The tactile need to actively parent felt constantly at odds with needing to share, promote, and engage with this project that I had put so much time and effort into creating. Productivity came in waves, and I tried to give myself grace for moments that felt like I was missing the mark on mothering, and being a working artist.
All of this being said, getting this book into people’s hands has brought me a level of creative joy and fullfilment like nothing else has. I still can’t quite believe it’s in real bookstores and sitting at home on peoples shelves and coffee tables. If you bought yourself a copy, gifted a copy during the holidays, shared one of my many posts or sent it to a friend, thank you. However it reached you and however you spent time with it, thank you. I’m bringing this labor of love into 2026 with a renewed energy that only a new year can bring.
A couple of my favorite places you can purchase online to support small & support local- Vestige in Fishtown, Philadelphia & Inkwood Books in Haddonfield, NJ. You can also order directly through my publisher Daylight Books. Signed copies are available on my website.
